I love it when you go to church and every lesson that day seems to be answers to questions or thoughts you have been having. I think a lot of times this is the way the Lord seems to answer my prayers, or at least they are the times I recognize the answers most.I have been struggling a little bit with Faith and putting my trust in the Lord when it comes to what we are to do with our lives. (Josh and I).
We know that medical school is not the right thing for us as it has been confirmed a few times.
So with that said Josh will be done this June and will Graduate in August. We know that we want kids in the near future. We don't know when, but we do know right now is not right.
We know that so far we are doing what we should be doing.
It has been hard for me to see the future and know where we will be in a few years. I am one of those people that likes to have a plan. I need plans. I like to know where we are going, and what we will be doing, and where the money will be coming from, and how much we will be making for the next however long. But we don't know.
Over the past couple of weeks I have realized how silly this mentality is. I also realized that I haven't made room for the Lords plan in my plans. Interesting. I love it when the Lord chastises you and you come to a realization that you have known all along, but have been to stubborn to see. I have realized that it isn't my plans that matter. The Lord knows Josh and the Lord knows me, and his plan is what is best for both of us even if I don't know exactly what it is.
I have learned that it is ok to not know.
I love Sundays. Today I was reminded several different times of what I really should be doing. On top of doing what we know to be right, (the list...scriptures, prayer, church, temple, tithing etc.) I need to put my faith in the Lord. 100%. I realized that even though I've said that I am trusting in the Lord, every time I doubt or express fear that I am undoing that trust and resigning my faith. For the two cannot coexist. Aha!
I have known this all a long. I know that the Lord will bless us for doing what is right and that he will direct my path. I have seen it work in my life so many times. But yet somehow we still forget at times.
As we sang this hymn in Relief Society today I was reminded again.
I'll go where you want me to go:
It may not be on the mountain height or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle's front My Lord will have need of me.
But if, by a still small voice he calls to paths that I do not know,
I'll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine: I'll go where you want me to go.
I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountain or plain or sea,
I'll say what you want me to say, dear Lord,
I'll be what you want me to be.
And we will. Josh is much better at remembering these things and reminding me when I am in doubt. (He really is my better half).
From now on I will live to demonstrate that God can trust me 100% to listen to his guidance and council, to act, and to know that he has our best interest at heart. Trust me to trust him.
And I will be patient.
I heard a good quote today. "Pray as though everything depends on God, and work as though everything depends on you." So true, Faith without works is dead.
So there you have my little random thoughts for Sunday.
I know that God really does guide us in our lives, that he hears and answers prayers, and that he really does have a plan that is much better than the one that we had/have for ourselves. I know that he knows me. He knows my thoughts, my needs and my desires. I know that he will take care of everything if we do what is right and fallow his council to the best of our abilities. I know that If I put my faith and trust in the Lord and live to demonstrate that, he will bless us.
His spirt guides, his love assures that fear departs when Faith endures.